Just a few days ago I was reminded of the battle we are in for the souls of men, women and children through this ministry. Sometimes we see the gates of hell collapse backwards before us and sometimes, like a few days ago, it’s like storming the beaches of Normandy, clawing for an inch with shells bursting all around you. It’s a world gone mad. After several weeks of visits, calls, prayers, discussions with treatment facilities and attorneys, judges, myself and our outstanding volunteers a part of the process, one of our most promising young women battling drug addiction decided she wasn’t going to face her demons. Minutes after she was released from jail for us to drive her to her program I received a phone call from her and had the following conversation:
“Hi Jim, my Grandpa will drive me to treatment. I don’t need you guys to do it.”
“That’s not true, ___________. I spoke with your grandpa and he told me he could not take you.”
“Well, I want a few days before I go. I’m not going.”
“Don’t do this, _____________. Think about your son. Think about all the days you’ve spent in jail. Think about the mom you said you wanted to be. Don’t do this. It’s not worth it.”
“I know. I’m doing it anyway.”
“Don’t do it. You’ll be right back in jail.”
“I’m not going to treatment. Not today.”
She hung up. I called the sheriff and within minutes she was back in jail. Why? Why wouldn’t she listen to reason? Her decision was insanity. Why?
Here’s what struck me.
If anyone had a list of excuses for their destructive behavior and irrational thinking, she did; abandonment, bad role models, family history of substance abuse. But there comes a point in life when the excuses are useless. They do not address the fundamental problem which is this: that somewhere at the core is rebellion against God to which she was blind. And she is not alone.
Deep down in the middle of all of us, all the way back to our first father and mother in the Garden, like them we choose to act on our own will regardless of the consequences. The roots of sin run deep within us. The insanity of our rebellion is great; so great that it blinds us to the truth of our precarious condition. We would rather trust our own skewed perceptions and follow our own immediate and destructive desires than trust and obey the God of love who created us with the freedom to choose. So great is our rebellion that only the blood of an incarnate God could forgive it and the nails of a cross kill it. Pray for this young woman. Pray for God to open the eyes of her heart to see that her real problem is her rebellion against her Creator. Pray that she see the cross, stained with the blood of the God who loves her in spite of her rebellion. And pray for me and you too. We’re all hopeless rebels without the redemptive and illuminating grace of Jesus; the only cure for the insanity of our rebellion.